


All The Progress That Lead To Me

by danvssomethingorother



Series: Good Enough [3]
Category: The Venture Bros
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Hank and Dean's deaths will be mentioned, Implied Suicidal actions / thoughts, Jonas is pretty abusive towards Rusty and he isn't shy about it, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-07-18 02:00:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16108439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danvssomethingorother/pseuds/danvssomethingorother
Summary: Dean asks his dad something unexpected, for the notes on cloning. Rusty is hesitant to give them to his son but he complies.





	1. Part 1

“Cloning?” his dad asked glancing over his shoulder seeing Pete and Billy looking just as nervous behind his shoulder, “That’s illegal Dean, I’m afraid I don’t---”

“Please cut the crap,” Dean hissed at his father making the three older men share quick glances at each other once more from their respective sides of the lab, “I just have to know ok? I already know I am a clone, so just cut the…you know…and let me have you and grandpa’s notes.”

“I don’t see the harm in giving them to him, Rust,” Pete mumbled rising from his spot at the computer and placing his hand on his father’s shoulder who had yet to react to response. His dad just nodded, swatting his friend away and gently putting his hand on Dean’s shoulder and leading up to the penthouse.

They passed by Hank and Brock lounging across the couch and Brock gave his dad an odd look and Dean caught his dad mouth to him ‘its time’ and Brock glared hard at him but didn’t try to stop him as he lead him into his bedroom.

“Cloning is still very illegal,” his dad began walking into his large walk in closet and popping open a step ladder, so he could reach the top, “These notes don’t leave this area. They don’t go to your school and if you want to play god, I will make you a personal lab somewhere, but you don’t do it at school and this damn well better not be your final project.”

“It’s not,” Dean grumbled testily but sighed, “I just need to know where we came from.”

His dad paused a moment, just standing on the step ladder staring at the boxes at the top of his closet but not really seeing them. He just kept pushing the same one back and forth as if trying to decide if it was the right boxes, if this was the right call. 

“I never wanted it to be this way, Dean,” his father whispered finally stepping down from the ladder finally with the box, “I always hoped I would be long gone by the time you stumbled on this like I had.”

“Why so I could just clone you?”

“God no,” his dad chuckled humorously, “Just…this is sensitive material. It can hurt you if you aren’t careful.”

He sat the two boxes next to where Dean sat on the bed and gently placed a kiss on his forehead and whispered he was sorry it had to turn out this way before turning to leave.

“I need to get back to the lab before White lets Billy play with the caulking gun again,” he said trying to play this off like it wasn’t eating him away inside, but Dean could see the pain clearly on his face.

“Just be careful Dean,” his father begged of him before shutting his bedroom door to give Dean some privacy.

Dean just stared at the boxes, not sure if he wanted to open it now. It was like looking at Pandora’s Box itself, he was about to unleash chaos onto the Venture family, but he needed to know why. Why did they do what they did.

He scooted closer to the boxes and was just about the one closest to him (that he noted was sealed tight and had a ‘I think you need to know the truth, Rusty’ note taped to it) when he heard a knock at the door, he hesitantly got up and opened it to reveal Brock’s stoic face.

“Hey,” Brock mumbled clearly not knowing what to say, “Yer dad tell you were a…”

“Clone?” Dean offered just staring at the body guard.

“Yeah, that…”

“No, Ben told me two years ago and his robot told me Dad was a clone too last night.”

That seemed like news to Brock and he did a quick glance over his shoulder but noticing no one was there, he said nothing. He was going to have a talk with his dad later it seemed.

“I just need to know why,” Dean said finally, “Why did they think this was the best option?”

“I can’t say much for your grandpa since I didn’t know him,” Brock said with a shrug gently touching Dean’s shoulder and leading him back to his father’s bed where he sat him down, “But I know why yer dad did it. He loved you and Hank and he just wanted you alive. He couldn’t stop the crazy shit from happening and even I couldn’t stop half of it, but there was always Plan B that guaranteed you would come back and well I think it drove your father insane.”

“Then why did he keep doing it,” Dean sneered, peeling the tape off the box he assumed had personal notes from his grandfather, the man who started this all. 

“Just listen to the tapes,” Brock sighed drawing his attention away from the box he had been opening and opening the second box and pulling out a stack of cassettes that were lined up neatly in what looked like a clear shoe box and had a post-it-note on them that read ‘please burn these, Brock’.

“Have you listened to them?” he asked just staring at the tapes in his hand.

“I did,” Brock said uneasily just staring at them as well, “Yer dad had complied them through the years hoping one day you and your brother would listen to them to understand his reasoning on the cloning business…”

“Why did he want you to burn them then?” Dean asked angrily pulling the note off the box and practically shoving it in his body guard’s face.

“They aren’t happy tapes,” was all Brock said before he turned towards the box that Dean hadn’t opened yet and dug through it a little, finding a stack of cassette tapes inside along with stacks of research, all concealed behind beige folders with large red ‘classified’ stamps across them, he held the large stack of folders easily in his large hands and began skimming through the top one, flipping the papers and dropping a picture of Dean’s father as a small child from it.

Dean picked it up hesitantly and just stared at his dad’s haunted expression, his eyes were down cast and Dean noticed there were faint bruises on his father’s neck. He flipped the picture over and noticed red ink on the back that wrote out ‘Test Subject One: Thaddeus S. Venture, five years old, no adverse side effects yet.’

He set the picture aside not wanting to see his dad so young and vulnerable, but Brock easily picked the picture up, glaring at it a moment before putting it back in the folder and shutting it once more.

“My dad never told you he was a clone?” Dean asked watching Brock’s face harden flipping through one of the folders.

“No and he isn’t exactly the same as you according to these papers,” Brock grumbled, “I don’t know if you should look through it, I don’t think your dad even read all this shit.”

“I want to know where we came from,” Dean replied curtly yanking the box back from his body guard who didn’t fight him but was giving him a warning stare.

“I think you are playing with fire going through all this by yourself so soon,” Brock told him gently grabbing his chin and making Dean look him in the eyes, “Cloning is illegal for a reason. I saw what it did to yer dad. I don’t think it’s the right time for you to start messing with this crap.”

“I’m not gonna make my own cloning farm,” Dean spat out, “I would never do something like that. I wouldn’t want to do this to someone else…”

“Yer dad brought you back cause you died,” Brock cut in firmly, “Your grandfather did some shady things to make this possible. You are both alive because of this research. What it did was bring three Ventures to life I have to take care of, but it took a lot from the men who dabbled in this shit.” 

“So you’re saying I should just be grateful and to not look into where I came from?” Dean sneered his body guard’s way.

“No, I am saying you are going to be reading about every one of your deaths, you are going to be listening to yer dad becoming jaded and learning who your grandfather really was and what he did to yer dad. Are you ready for that Dean?”

Dean gulped but nodded. He didn’t care what it did to him, he just wanted to know the truth. No more side stepping it, no more kid gloves, just the full truth of what lead their family to this point. Why cloning a dead person was the best possible choice. He wanted to know if he really was Dean Venture, if his dad really was Rusty Venture, where did they come from and what they should expect side effect wise in the future.

“You want to do this alone?” Brock asked taking a heavy sigh.

“I don’t want anyone here to change my mind,” he admitted staring uneasily at the pile of tapes collected before him, “I just ask for a tape player to listen to these. I want to go at my own pace.”

Brock nodded and dug in his dad’s closet, with the expert ease of someone who had spent a lot of time fetching things for his father. Dean sometimes had to wonder if his father and body guard were a little more than just employee and employer, but it really wasn’t his place to ask.

Brock pulled out a shoe box and opened it, Dean saw stacks of pictures in it that Brock easily pushed to the side before pulling out a tape recorder. He sat the show box on the dresser and the tape recorder next to it before wordlessly leaving the room.

He just stood there glancing at the boxes and then awkwardly staring at the door. Was this the right thing to do? 

He just sat there, staring at the box, pulling his grandfather’s notes closer towards him, picking up a sealed envelope that didn’t seem like it had been touched from the top of it. It said Rusty in scratchy hand writing. It felt so invasive going through his grandfather’s notes, the first step in the path that lead to cloning, when it seemed his dad had refused to look at it at all.

He opened the envelope and began to read the letter inside.

‘Hey Rust-

I know I told you your old man had destroyed all his own personal notes and my notes were the only ones that you needed to see but I just don’t feel right keeping them from you anymore. Not after what you almost did last night.

We almost lost you Rust, I hated seeing you like that, I hated knowing you were still begging to die the next morning.

I just thought maybe if you knew the truth, where you came from, that you aren’t so different from your sons, maybe you would feel better. Maybe I don’t know, that connection could help you feel like your children are yours again but also understand you three aren’t that different.

-Ben.’

This note had never been opened nor had this box, so Dean could only assume his father just never felt ready to know the truth. Did he even know? Dean supposed he had to know but a sick feeling settled in his stomach at the thought that his father didn’t know and just wanted to live in ignorance.

Dean went over to the dresser where Brock had left the tape player and stopped, sighing glancing into the box full of pictures. He picked one up of his dad who couldn’t have been much older then him kissing a blonde baby on the cheek, he picked up the photo turning it over, Hank and Daddy, 1995. He frowned, they weren’t born yet in 1995, that must have been the original copies.

He picked up a photo of his dad hugging a little brunette with freckles close who was crying while his dad smiled larger then he could remember him smiling, a baseball and broken window not far from them in the background, it read: ‘Dean’s first broken window, 2000’. That was the year he had to have been born, so that must have been when Dad had to start the cloning or maybe he started it earlier as a precaution, Dean didn’t know. 

He picked another picture up out of the box and groaned loudly and mumbled ew, seeing an old polaroid where neither his dad or Brock were wearing cloths and his dad was sucking on Brock’s neck, his arm a little in shot showing he had been the one to take this picture. He just tossed it back in the box with the other photos, memories of happier times he wasn’t sure he fitted into. He didn’t remember breaking a window and dad being so proud he had to get a photo of it with Dean, he wasn’t even sure if the things he did remember could really be his. He wasn’t technically physically there for those events, he was still being cooked in the cloning farm until a few years ago.

He knew he was just finding reasons to stall, he knew he was, he might have kept a brave face for his family but he was terrified. He pulled the first tape from his father’s stack and took a deep breath and pressed play.

“I am Thaddeus S. Venture but I’m sure you know me by now, I am probably already a renown scientist by now. More specifically, I am probably known worldwide for my perfection in cloning, something I should note, my father could not do.”

Dean cracked a smile, his dad’s ego never quite left it seemed.

“Come on Rust.”

Dean frowned that was Ben’s voice, he didn’t really expect him to be on his father’s research tapes but thinking of it, it should be expected.

“No one is going to know you by Thaddeus, introduce yourself as the name people know.”

“I am not going to introduce myself to the scientific community as Rusty, my dad only started calling me that because of the stupid cartoon, no, I don’t want my reputation tied to the dumb cartoon too!”

“You’re still rolling Rusty.”

After a few mumbled curses, the tape clicked off and Dean found himself smiling despite it all, it was just his dad going on like he always did about his inventions. Not really sounding like he knew what the hell he was talking about but having enough self confidence to get it out. He flipped the tape over and pressed play.

“Hello Dean, hello Hank.”

His heart stopped at how sincere the greeting sounded.

“Its daddy, I’m probably either dead or missing or maybe I finally just found the confidence to tell you, I don’t know. First, I want to tell you I love you, but you already know that. You two are my world.”

His dad sounded close to tears it was almost bringing them out of Dean. He paused, reprimanding himself, he couldn’t get emotional so early into the tapes, he took a side glance at Ben’s note still lying on his lap, they were going to get so much worse from here. 

“You were born today and it was the best day I have ever had,” he was crying and Dean couldn’t help but let a few tears fall as well, “My sons were born today. That is the most amazing feeling in the world. I’m afraid to tell Myra, I’m sure you two have met her by now, its unlikely she is going anywhere.”

Dean thought about the woman he had almost thought to be his mother and hearing the fear in his father’s tone he got a much better understanding of their relationship together.

“I know I’m rambling….cut me some slack, I am a little drunk. Ben takes celebrating success a little too far sometimes.”

A deep breath and a snort of giggles, Dean could only imagine Ben was in the room with him, maybe he was in Ben’s house. He was probably hiding from his body guard, both trying to work together to make some lie as to where two babies came from.

“I know me, I know I’m not going to just tell you, cause well its weird. Some dude just pops in my house claiming to know my dad and nearly gets shot by my body guard and then offers to give me a real break through in science. Something we need to get by. We needed this, I’m sorry you two aren’t just normal babies. I mean you are mine, never doubt that. But well, you are essentially part my clone and part clone of some guy’s um…samples we found from my dad’s days trying to perfect cloning.” 

“Listen, if you want to know all the nitty gritty on the science that went into making you, I highly recommend it. Me and Ben really made art gene splicing like that, take that god, you couldn’t make someone half as great as I made my sons!”

Dean found himself nervously chuckling with his father glancing at the stacks of paper work in the box. Not really sure he wanted all the nitty gritty, he just wanted the reasons. The human emotions that went into creating a person like this.

“Listen…I don’t care what happens with this cloning thing! I could be rich, we could barely be getting by, I don’t care! I love my sons! I made you! I don’t have many happy days and I want you to know this is the happiest day that has ever happened!! You two aren’t just projects, you are my babies! My beautiful boys!! I am a daddy and I can’t be prouder!!!”

He couldn’t make out the last few minutes of rambling from his dad, it was just the normal drunk rambling except it was all about how much he loved them and was going to protect them. It was weird and baffling and just made Dean’s stomach twist in more knots. Those feelings were for the original Dean. They probably weren’t intended for him.

He popped the tape out and put it back in the box. He glanced at his grandfather’s tapes and took the one neatly labeled ‘Immortality Proj 1’ and popped it in. Just by presentation of the neatly stacked and labeled tapes did Dean realize how much more professional his grandfather was compared to his own father. 

“I have been told my entire life you can’t avoid death, its inevitable. Its always going to be the boogeyman in any great man’s closet. But. I think I may have found a way to reverse it. Make less of something to be feared.”

Dean could almost imagine his grandfather trying to sway an audience of people with this speech and not just talking to his grandson. 

“No one wants to be trapped in a robot body, there is a loss of humanity to that. You lose who you are going about it that way. Necromancy may work in theory, but magic can’t be the answer, it comes at too high of a cost working with outside forces no mortal can ever hope to understand. The only way to beat death’s game is through science and I think I may have finally discovered it: cloning.” 

Dean stopped the tape heart picking up at just the mere intensity in his grandfather’s tone. He picked both boxes up after carefully putting the tapes and tape recorder back in them, then began to head back towards his own room.

He didn’t want to wear himself thin doing this, he needed to do it gradually. He remembered the warnings he had been given by his parental figures and while he was going to push himself to the end of the tapes and maybe tackle some of the papers, he didn’t want to burn himself out just yet.

He had a strange fatigue on his heart already and just wanted to go lie in his own room and think about things before jumping into the research once more.


	2. Part 2

As Dean stepped out of his father’s room, he could hear an argument happening in the living room bellow him.

“You can’t just keep things like that from me!”

Dean paused glancing over the edge seeing Brock gripping the back of the couch and glaring down at his father who continued to ignore him, it appeared he was drinking straight from the bottle, that was never a good sign. 

“What the hell do you want from me?” his father sneered his way taking a long drink from the bottle, “You didn’t need to know! Cause guess what? Being my body guard doesn’t give you access to every single detail! You only need to know the shit to body guard! What? You think me being a clone means you don’t have to try that hard to protect me? Cause news flash, you aren’t trying that hard anymore.”

“Don’t start about---”

“Oh, go fuck your new woman, I am not going to sit here and be lectured by you about what I have to tell you!” 

Dean ducked down a little watching his dad get up and sway a bit as he marched to the door leading to pool area, slamming the door hard behind him. Brock waited a minute grumbling under his breath before marching after his father. 

Dean didn’t feel like he had a right to intrude on their privacy, so he kept going towards his room, the heaviness that had been settled on his chest growing with each step.

He opened the door, planning on throwing the research on his desk and just lying down a moment to think about things and what to do next but his brother put a complete stop to those plans.

“Why are you in my room?” Dean dead panned his brother’s way, taking a deep breath and just sitting down in the computer chair keeping his eyes on the boxes he set on his desk, not sure if he really wanted to share it with his brother.

“My room now,” Hank corrected him firmly sitting up in bed, but none of his usual boldness shined through in the statement, he looked as unsure as Dean knew he looked.

“Well can you go back to your old room, I want some privacy and I don’t want to spend two weeks in the room with the blood spatters in the carpet.”

“That was on Brock, not me,” Hank grumbled, his annoyance clear.

“If you would have told Brock, then he wouldn’t have killed those poor people,” Dean snarled back not really in the mood to play this game with his brother, he just wanted his room back. He just needed some space to process things before he went head first back into the research again.

“Is that the cloning research?” his brother asked not rising to the bait and fighting back like he usually would.

“Yeah,” Dean answered solemnly glancing back at the boxes he had set on his desk. 

“Pop wasn’t acting like himself after he let you have them, Pete and Billy left telling him he needed to talk to us.” 

“Did he say he would?”

Hank shrugged but gave him a look that told him his answer. His dad wasn’t going to talk about this. He was just going to ignore it like he normally did.

“He started drinking a lot and even made me a drink, but he kinda ignored the talking thing. He just asked me if I knew the truth too and I told him yeah and he asked me if I thought it was the right choice.”

A silence set over them for a few seconds, Hank began picking a loose string on the comforter while Dean twisted the chair around a little before he finally broke the silence and asked.

“Do you think it was the right choice?”

Hank gave him a funny look before giving him a smirk that Dean wanted to smack off his face.

“Duh, the other option is being dead.”

“Yeah but don’t you ever question if you are really Hank Venture?”

“No,” Hank said with more confidence then Dean would ever feel, “If I’m not Hank Venture, who the heck would I be?”

“A clone of the original Hank Venture who is dead?” Dean grumbled out turning away from his brother just staring at the research.

“Yeah but the original is dead, so I am Hank now,” Hank said with a carefree shrug getting off the bed and coming closer to his brother.

He tried to grab one of the boxes, but Dean instantly knocked his hand away. 

“Don’t touch that!”

Hank frowned at him and stood his ground, crossing his arms and giving him his best dirty look. Dean could only guess he had been spending too much time with their dad lately, that was a look only their dad would pull when he was at his pettiest and about to throw a tantrum.

“I’m a clone too, I think I have every right to look at the research too,” Hank said firmly putting one of his hands on the box Dean had put his own hand on firmly.

“Its not as fun or simple as you are making it out to be!” Dean moaned turning a serious look his brother’s way, “Our entire lives are in this box. Every death and the reasons Dad kept cloning us are here, not to mention Grandpa’s reasons for starting all this…”

He just trailed off staring down at his own shaking hands, he let his brother yank the box from him as he just stared at his lap. He was being selfish trying to keep this from his brother, he had a right to see it too, he had been addressed as well in his father’s first tape after all. This was meant for both of them. It wasn’t that he didn’t want his brother to see this, it was just he wanted to go on this journey of self-discovery on his own, he wanted to be able to put words to the feelings that buzzed around inside him. Maybe silence that little voice that told him he wasn’t really Dean and maybe it would have all been better for everyone involved if he had stayed dead.

So far, this research was doing the opposite, it was making that little voice stronger knowing his dad had been so different before he had started down this road. 

“So, what have you found out so far?” Hank asked sitting back down on the bed and just staring at the box, not opening it, almost as nervous about touching it as Dean himself was. 

Dean shrugged and sighed before answering in a low voice, feeling almost stupid he felt so nervous to talk to his own twin about all this. He was almost afraid he would be dismissed, he didn’t even know if his fears were valid or if he was looking at this right, maybe Hank’s approach was the more reasonable one. 

“I think we drove dad insane…”

Hank didn’t say anything his face falling as well as he pulled out dad’s tapes, just staring at the sticky note on the side that asked Brock to burn his research.

Wordlessly, Dean pulled the letter from Ben out of his pocket, he didn’t know why but couldn’t just shove this back in the box with Grandpa’s research where he found it. He read it himself once more, just taking in the meaning that one of those tapes was going to hold his father’s suicide note before handing it to his brother.

Hank just looked nervously at his brother before he began reading it out loud, his face scrunching in disgust and horror as he mumbled out the words. He just set the note inside the box along with the tapes, nervously twitching his fingers, popping each one before glancing up at the clock.

“I don’t think Dad ever listened to grandpa’s personal tapes or read his more personal notes, it seems like he just threw the box to the side, it was sealed when he gave it to me. I’m not sure how much he knows about him being a clone…”

“Dad’s a _what_?” Hank asked his voice rising enough to make Dean wince and turn his head away. 

“Grandpa made him in the lab, I think he started out as a failed clone of Grandpa and I’m sorry to say but we were made in the lab too, from dad’s DNA and some…DNA he found lying around…”

“Wait…wait…hold up,” Hank said throwing his arms up a minute before bringing them down again, “So we don’t have a mom or a grandma??”

“I’m afraid not,” Dean said with a shake of his head, “Unless you want to count the questionable DNA he found lying around that Grandpa was going to clone as our mom…”

“That’s just great,” Hank moaned crossing his arms and pouting, “All these years of wondering and the answer all a long was a test tube and some gross DNA is our mom…”

Dean couldn’t help but crack a smile at his brother, it felt like old times going head first into a mystery with his brother at his side. Maybe not being helpful or insightful but always there to lighten the mood.

“Hey Dean?” 

Dean looked up towards his brother and was surprised by the frown and uncertainty on his face, something he might have seen from his own reflection but not something that looked right on his confident brother’s.

“Yeah?”

Hank wrung his hands together a minute before he finally began talking again, almost like he didn’t know where to start with what he was saying.

“I know this is your thing, but I don’t know…maybe… could I…” he stopped just flicking his wrist around nervously with each sentence he tried to start.

“Yeah, you can listen to the tapes with me,” Dean finally answered a small feeling of relief settling in him, “I listened to the first one already, but I don’t know if I can go on further tonight and I don’t know if I want to listen to Grandpa’s again.”

“That’s ok, maybe we could…”

Dean sat on the bed next to his brother, the tape recorder in his hand and he popped in the first tape and watched the nervous smile stretch across his brother’s face as their father greeted them and felt himself genuinely smile watching the happiness spark across Hank’s face hearing their father tell them how much he loved them.

Whether it was meant for the original twins or not, just hearing their often neglectful father tell them how much he adored them seemed to be what Hank needed to hear. He was almost in tears when the tape clicked off.

The brothers just sat in silence for a long time, before Dean promised Hank they would listen to more tomorrow night and Hank left willingly to go contemplate the first tape by himself for the night.

\----

It was late, nearing midnight but Dean knew his dad was still outside from his fight earlier with Brock. He had come down stairs several times and had heard them arguing still two hour ago and last time he came down thirty minutes ago, he had seen his dad making a drink at the mini bar outside.

He was antsy and tired of waiting for his dad to come in so he could talk to him, he took a deep breath to calm some of his nerves before he finally went outside.

It was freezing outside, winter was around the corner and the wind was picking up hitting Dean full force as he stepped out of the warm and cozy penthouse. He wrapped his arms around his chest and tucked his fingers into his armpits trying to stay warm glancing around for his father figures.

“Its cold out here, you should go back inside.”

Dean jumped a little hearing Brock’s voice and turned his head towards one of the pool chairs pushed closer towards the mini bar, that he noticed had a heater plugged in and sitting on the bar pointing towards the pair. Brock was stretched out, a cigarette in one hand and the other hand was resting on his father’s head who appeared to be fast asleep tucked into Brock’s side, his long and lanky arm lazily stretched across Brock, hugging his midsection as he slept.

“Yer dad passed out not too long ago, refused to go inside, stubborn ass,” Brock almost chuckled pinching the cigarette bud between his massive fingers putting out the fire before just flicking it towards the pool, “I’ll take him inside in a minute, you should just go back to bed.”

Dean didn’t, he just stood there awkwardly watching his dad sleep, curling closer to Brock.

“I wanted to talk to my dad,” Dean began but Brock shook his head firmly.

“He passed out after one too many drinks, even if he does wake up, he won’t give you the answers you want right now.”

Dean still didn’t move glancing up at the slither of a moon, watching a minute as storm clouds slowly drowned it out before glancing down to his feet. He heard Brock sigh loudly and only then did he say anything.

“He’s ok though, isn’t he?”

Brock didn’t answer him, glancing at the man curled against him as he began grumbling something incomprehensible in his sleep.

Dean steeled his nerves as he said as firm as he could, “Please don’t lie to me.”

“I don’t think he has ever been ok,” Brock said with a shrug pulling his dad up enough to sling him over his shoulder and easily got up, his dad’s weight seemed to be nothing to him. 

“Just go to bed, Dean,” Brock told him firmly, “We can talk about this in the morning.”

Dean watched Brock brush past him disappearing inside, he glanced into the glass door in time to see his father drunkenly rise up enough to give his body guard a kiss on the cheek as they walked towards the stairs. Brock didn’t push him away but didn’t return any sort of affection towards his father, glancing around the room quickly before disappearing up the stairs.

Dean sighed loudly walking towards the bar and turning off and unplugging the mini heater they had left behind before he went back inside but didn’t go to bed.

He just sat at his desk another hour staring at the boxes before he climbed in bed, his twisted up thoughts letting him get very little sleep that night.


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up with a hangover was just something he lived with, the nausea and head ache were just old friends, unwelcome friends but they were familiar. This was something he knew, he could handle it. A handful of pain killers, a bottle of water and avoiding food had always solved the problem well enough.

Maybe just avoid life today. It wouldn’t be the first time he was too hung over to leave his room. No one would miss him if he just stayed this way, passed out on the bed, just wallowing in his own self-pity.

He had been here so many times, it was just routine, something to be expected, something almost familiar for the boys after everything had changed so much, he supposed. Helper is making breakfast, Brock is making sure the place is secure and daddy is passed out in bed feeling sorry for himself after he passed out in his own vomit last night. 

He knew no one welcomed this side of himself, it threw a wrench in the project he was working on with Pete and Billy, it forced Brock to add in making sure Dr. Venture was still alive and hadn’t just offed himself in this state into his schedule, it meant all those meetings would have to be cancelled today, and it meant Dean would get no personal answers from the present Rusty Venture about his past failures but it was familiar. It was to be expected. It was nothing new. Nothing you couldn’t deal with because hey, we made it through this before, this isn’t the end of the world.

Dr. Venture is a drunk who can’t deal with his life, it just means you have more work today but by tomorrow, it would all be back to normal. 

Rinse and repeat.

Rusty pulled the blanket over his head as his deceased brother greeted him and remembered a time he thought it could get better.

And maybe if not better, it would be easier to handle, he wouldn’t need to turn back to substances to make the pain go away, he could handle it on his own.

He really had been an idiot.

His eyes flicked up hearing someone enter his room, he groaned pulling the covers over his head, it had to be Brock. It was always Brock. Dutiful as always to his assignments, maybe not as much to Rusty as a person but it could be nice to know someone would always be here to yank him up, even if it wasn’t out of love.

“Are you just going to stay in bed all day feeling sorry for yourself?”

Rusty didn’t respond or make any effort to move, expecting Brock to leave like he usually did.

“Doc, you can’t hide from your problems like this,” Brock sighed out but Rusty didn’t respond, he was already trying to tune him out. 

He scowled as he felt his body guard force his comforter down exposing him to the world. 

“Get up, take a shower and be in the kitchen before noon, you need to talk to your sons. Not brush the problem away, talk to them.”

“And if I choose to refuse your request?”

“You don’t want those consequences,” Brock said firmly lightly swatting the man on the butt making him grumble curses at the man as another round of nausea hit him with the action. 

“You started this Doc, only you can put it to bed.”

But that wasn’t true was it? Rusty began to think rising from his spot on the bed, knowing full well Brock would be dragging him out of his sanctuary if he didn’t get up as he asked.

He hadn’t started any of this, if it wasn’t for his father, that day, that awful day wouldn’t have had a reset button. His sons would be gone, he wouldn’t have had the opportunity to question if they were real or themselves or if they were better off dead, they would just simply be dead.

He often found himself wondering if that would be for the best.

He watched from the corner of his eye as Brock sat on the bed with him sighing heavily as he didn’t lean into him like he usually would. Brock was someone who forced you to your feet when you were in a bad place, he was never one for comfort.

Unless he was drunk out of his mind, Rusty wasn’t much for that either, he supposed.

“I don’t know what the hell you want me to tell them.”

Brock just glared hard at him and Rusty was in a foul enough mood to glare back, he didn’t know what he wanted from him. There was nothing he could do to explain his actions that the tapes couldn’t. That was why he had begun to make them, so he didn’t have to explain himself, so he didn’t have to have a heart to heart with anyone about anything.

“Tell them they aren’t the reason you went off the deep end!”

Rusty didn’t answer that, he growled loudly and stormed towards the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind him. He childishly locked the door and sank down against the door, jumping slightly feeling the door quake as Brock hit against the door hard as a warning to him knowing what he was doing. 

“I will give you an hour and then I am going to tear this door down.”

Rusty flipped him the bird to the threat knowing full well he couldn’t see the gesture but felt comfort in doing it anyway. 

Some part of him felt bad acting this way towards his son who he knew only meant well, that’s just who Dean was. There wasn’t a bad bone in his body, he was soft and gentle and nothing would change that.

Rusty was nothing but a skeleton built of bad bones though. He made nothing but selfish decisions his entire life and this was just one of them. He could blame his father, he could blame the abuse, he could pretend none of that happened and say he was fine but that was all lies protecting his fragile ego. 

His selfish actions were his own and he was too self-absorbed to take consequences for them. He fully intended on hiding in the bathroom until Brock broke the door down and made the situation about him once more and ignoring the problems he caused.

He stared hard at his veins, this all started with his father. His father and his legacy. He was his father’s legacy, proof cloning could happen and every day he only tarnished the Venture name by his mere existence.

He lived in his father’s shadow his entire life, truthfully he was just as afraid as Dean of discovering why his father made him.

He didn’t want to find out if his father ever brought him back from the dead like he had selfishly done to his own sons. He didn’t want to know there was always the option for Rusty Venture to not exist in this world anymore, but his father had drug him back anyway.

He pulled his knees close to his chest and just let the self-loathing travel through him, he pitied Dean for knowing and wondered if he regretted his decision.


End file.
